How to Find Yourself After a break-Up.

Everyone has that one relationship that almost caused a heart attack when it ended, the never-ending questions you ask yourself, what could you have done better or is anyone else going to love me? This period of our lives comes with a lot of self-doubt and insecurities as we try to figure out if we are worthy of Love. The reality is everyone is worthy of love but at that moment it’s hard to see because you are clouded by grief. It’s so important to intentionally find yourself and get to a place of self-love after the end of a relationship. Here are 5 ways to get back to yourself after a heartbreak.


It’s so important to take time to mourn your relationship, to acknowledge your part in the relationship whether good or bad. If you went out of your way for your significant other and they didn’t show up for you in the same way that is okay, it’s a reflection of how you love and love is a strength. If your part was bad that’s okay as well you apologise, learn from your mistakes and accept where those choices have taken you in life. Either way, mourning allows you to understand and accept that it’s over, once you come to a place of acceptance then you are ready to get back to being you.

2.Listen to Podcasts/Read

Unfortunately, break-up seasons tend to always come with depression, the quickest way to get out of it is to listen to uplifting podcasts that spread the message of self-love and self-worth. One podcast that worked for me was Jay Shetty, he spoke so much about how your self-worth is tied to how you perceive yourself, so the first job is to love and appreciate yourself, to know that you are valuable, once you do that other people will also see your worth. This will translate into your work and the relationship you make and keep.

3. Find your Passion

There is a meme by Mai Jordina on tik tok, she says ‘ICHOOOOOO chakarambwa nemukomana now chava business minded’, it’s funny but it’s so true, most women find themselves and their fire after they have gone through challenging times, so Girrrrrrrrrll don’t waste that breakup pain, use it wisely, find hobbies and turn those hobbies into income, as the Beyonce said, the best revenge is your paper.

4. Get out of the house

It can be so difficult to see past your pain when you are stuck at home in your pyjamas. There is no greater reminder of how beautiful life can be than going out and having fun with your friends, so take the time out and spend with other people you love, be it family or friends.

5. Spend Time in Prayer

Now girl I did not say fast and pray for the Lord to restore that relationship and bring that man back lol. Praying can just be telling God how you feel, lamenting, there is a sense of peace in knowing that the Lord knows and cares about your pain, so don’t be too sad to lament and tell God how you feel.

Overall breakups are a good learning point for young women, if we take the time to introspect and see what we could have done better, we are better for it in our next relationship, so chin up there are better days ahead.

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